With Apologies for Radio Silence

Holy cow, you guys, have I had a week.  A week and a half.  It’s been one of those whirlwinds where I keep having to stop and remind myself that everything spinning around me is good, that I should be grabbing at the rings as they sail by rather than curl up in a ball and wait for the world to stop turning quite so fast. I also have to keep reminding myself that most of this stuff is just seeds I’ve sown coming up flowers.  Just like anything real and natural, you can’t predict what the seeds will grow into, so sometimes they come up monster flowers and sometimes they turn into the most opposite thing.  Both are cool and beautiful, but one is harder to wrangle.  I think I’ve mentioned before that, while most people assume anxiety only comes from worrying about the bad stuff, it can come from the good too, if the good gets to be too much all at once.  The good is, perhaps, more work than the bad.  While from the bad you can, hopefully, only work your way up out of it, the good requires maintenance, and brings with it worries that you won’t lose it all by making a wrong move.

I’m being vague because none of this is very rarefied or interesting to anyone but me.  I might have to move in a matter of weeks, but to a place I’m incredibly excited about living.  My job is ramping up a little, which I’ve been wanting for a long time.  I’m going to New York City for the first time in three years this weekend.  New York is like a magic place for me, the last time I went there and came back some wonderful things happened right afterward.  As I was typing this, I got a call to say that the hairdresser I’ve been using for two years quit, so tomorrow I’ll get my hair cut by a new person.

This is going to seem to change tracks suddenly, but stick with me.  I’ve always liked and been attracted to astrology because it’s just about cycles.  There is some science to it, an accurate tracking of the stars that does require an astronomer’s precision, a good grasp of math and spacial orientation.  It’s been a good year for the stars and the planets, the moon and the sun.  I feel like every time I look up there’s another bright dot, Saturn or Jupiter, or an extra bright big moon.  Likewise, it’s been a good and lucky year on earth.  People think of luck and they think of happy endings, but the primary feature of luck is its inability to be controlled, its actions occurring beyond our ken and apart from our intentions.  I’ve seen so many people fall down this year, so many friends break up with significant others, lose jobs, move back in with parents, and miss out on opportunities they wanted in on.  Unlike last year, when so many of us seemed to fall down and have trouble getting back up, everyone hit by the car pops right back up, running away from the accident at all best speed.  Friends are starting companies, getting into grad school, moving in with the loves of their lives, finding new apartments in new cities, and just generally excelling.  But all that luck had to happen first. I’ve never seen anything like it.  I don’t want to discount all these friends’ incredible energy – hell, synergy, even – but I do believe something in this year, inside and out, has made the atmosphere right for awesome changes to happen.

I’m hoping it’s the same for me.  Maybe two or three years has been all it takes for the next good cycle to come around.

I have stuff in the queue that I promise, at some point, I’ll swerve back around to.  That essay about The Hunger Games, a recap of my experience at the Nerdist podcast live, and I’m probably going to take way too many photos in New York, including all the awesome food I’m going to eat.  Lots of stuff coming at you, hopefully soon!


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