Does this ever happen to you?
I know with all those “Best Week Ever” “I Love Two Years Ago” shows out there, most people are familiar with the tendency towards nostalgia for the immediate past in our culture (especially, given the examples noted, in our pop culture). It’s castigated because the media has co-opted this feeling to try to create entertainment on channels that don’t have much artistic or creative cache, but I think it’s a really common feeling for a young person to have! So maybe we should be asking why and talking about it intelligently, rather than throwing our arms around like deranged Kermits and saying “Don’t do that!”, hm? Like a lot of things from youth, it also seems to be something older folks come back around to. Whose mother, father, grandparents, etc. haven’t said to them the week after a visit, “I wish you’d come around more often, like last weekend?” Hell, whose grandparents haven’t said “I wish you’d visit me more!” when you are, in fact, sitting in their living room visiting them? If your answer is “me,” I want your grandparents. Well, mostly I want mine to stop it with the anticipating of the time when I leave and go back to Mass. and am not visiting them anymore!
Given that logic, it’s tempting to beat myself up about looking around at my cities, my Boston, my Cambridge, my Somerville, and thinking “I’m going to miss this when I don’t live here anymore.” And getting a little down in the mouth as a result.
I have no plans to move anytime soon! I am, in fact, planning on switching houses in Somerville, so am committed to living in my beloved burb for another year at least (barring some kind of total loss of financial solvency). My job is good, my friends are everything I could want, my locals are well-worn and comfy, and my love for this area and its denizens is undiminished. It’s taken my four years, but I feel like I finally belong here in a “resident” way.
But, I know I’m going to leave. One of my favorite comedians said on his podcast from awhile back that, since he was used to moving around all the time as a kid, he gets antsy staying put. Having lived in 6 states, 6 family houses, 4 dorms, and 5 apartments, well.. you can figure it out. I’ve always imagined myself ending up on the West Coast somewhere for a bit (somewhere between San Francisco and Vancouver, probably), in New York City, or even in Maine (I’d give up something considerable for a well-paying job in Portland, maybe my firstborn?). Even if, as my world turns, I end up staying in MA, I eventually want to get farther out of the city, somewhere where I can have a yard and a couple non-human critters and a garden. Let’s pretend you asked me if I wanted this right now: nope. Right now I want a porch, a grill, a bigger room, some chill roommates, and access to an HBO subscription. I have not watched even a millisecond of Game of Thrones and it’s painful to think about. Some more artwork and a working computer would also be spectacular. It’s not within my means to hurry up and get busy with the big-ass “adult purchases,” and really it’s not within my lifestyle. Still, I can envision a day where it is (despite aforementioned worries about sudden loss of financial solvency…).
Anyway, this is a little entry, just a niggling thought I’ve been having off-and-on for the last year or so. I’ll miss napping in the sun on the HMS quad during lunch breaks, getting coffee and savory scones at The Biscuit, walking home in the half-light up Beacon Street, beer garden beers at Charlie’s, the sunset over the Charles, and a million other tiny things I haven’t bothered to do more than register for a second, then let go. Until I do have cause to miss them, though, I’ll enjoy everyone for what it’s worth.